How to limit the impact of divorce on children

Divorce can be an emotional and all assuming experience but it is important not to overlook what is most important to you – your children.

There is a wealth of information and research on the impact of divorce on children and although it is usually unintentional, children are undoubtedly exposed to conflict and information surrounding your divorce.

At Devonalds we are child focused and this is at the forefront when dealing with divorce cases.

In this week’s blog we offer some practical advice on how to limit the effect of divorce on your children.

• Don’t criticize your ex in front of your children regardless of what is going on in your divorce. The divorce is between the adults and not the children.
• Don’t confide in your children. Let them be children and don’t use them as a shoulder to cry on or for emotional support, regardless of how mature they are or how well you think they are handling the situation.
• Don’t boast about new relationships and experiences. While one party may be elated to have a new life the other party may not be and children can pick up on this and how their parents are feeling.
• Don’t overlook the children’s emotional wellbeing, they too are experiencing a range of emotions including sadness, guilt and confusion so be sure to pick up on any cues from your children and deal with them accordingly.
• Don’t stop being parents. Just because your marital relationship is over it doesn’t mean your co-parenting responsibilities are over.
• If you can’t communicate about anything else try and communicate about the children. It may help to limit any communication to matters about the children and avoid sending any messages via the children.
• Reassure your children and explain that they are not responsible and that they still have two parents who love them.
• Make yourself available when your children are ready to talk. Communicate with them and let them know its ok to ask questions or share any worries they may have.
• Try and maintain some sense of normality and continue with usual routines and activities where possible.
• Avoid confrontation in front of the children and protect them from adult worries and responsibilities.

At Devonalds we offer affordable expert legal advice so if you are experiencing legal issues regarding your children or are about to embark upon the divorce process and need advice, contact one of our family lawyers today on 01656 665022 (Bridgend) or 01443 404700 (Pontypridd). Alternatively you can attend our free family legal clinic every Tuesday 10am-12pm & 2-4pm at our Bridgend office.